'I love him but she’s been with me through everything': Newly moved in boyfriend demands girlfriend rehome her cat, calling it a “compromise” that turns into claws-out conflict over loyalty and love

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jun 27, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

When it comes to relationships, sometimes love is a furmidable force, but in this case, it sounds like there's a major catastrophe brewing. This devoted cat pawrent has had her sweet, cuddly feline companion for nearly four years. Through thick and thin, this whiskered wonder has been a constant source of emotional support and unconditional purrs. But ever since her boyfriend moved in, the harmony has turned to hissteria.

He's not vibing with the cat, complains about the litter, and has now dared to suggest rehoming her. As a compromise. Talk about a meowsive red flag.

This kitty isn't just a pet. She's family, a loyal lap-warmer, and a furry therapist rolled into one. Rehoming her would be like trading in trust and comfort for someone who can't appreciate a good purr when he hears it.

If you ask us, any partner who can't co-exist with your fur baby might not be your furever person. Relationships require compromise, but asking someone to choose between love and litter boxes? That's just clawful.

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  • 01
    'He's bringing up rehoming her as a "compromise"
    via dimaberlinphotos / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I've had my cat for almost 4 years ―she's sweet, cuddly, and a huge emotional support for me. My boyfriend recently moved in and things have gone downhill fast.
    via pouldycheed
  • 03
    He says he doesn't connect with her, gets annoyed by the litter smell (even though I clean it daily) and now he's bringing up rehoming her as a "compromise."
    via pouldycheed
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10521781760
    via Africa images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    I feel sick even thinking about it. Has anyone dealt with something like this? I love him but she's been with me through everything.
    via pouldycheed
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10521783040
    via SeventyFour / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    grimorg80 I know it might sound harsh and to people who never had a true bond with a cat even crazy. But I genuinely believe that a partner who makes that kind of ultimatum is not the right partner for a pet owner.
    via grimorg80

  • Sounds like you two might just not be the purrfect match if he’s not willing to make it work. A real partner should try to coexist with the fur baby you love.

  • 08
    Just-a-guy2999 get rid of the man. keep the cat. Pets are family members and if he disrespects the cat like that imagine how he's gonna treat you eventually. I know this is hard, but never put ur partner over pets you've had before you met them.
    via Just--guy2999
  • 09
    bnoccholi do not rehome that cat. not only is that a huge red flag. that he's asking that of you (which honestly to me implies he won't be around for long), you will regret it so much if you guys eventually break up and you lost your partner and your cat. why are YOU having
    via bnoccholi
  • 10
    to compromise, and not him? what kind of grown man, who has no allergies, can't handle having a cat around? god, i've got the ick on your behalf.
    via bnoccholi

  • Definitely a red flag and a major ick. It’s not a compromise if you’re the only one giving something up, especially when it’s your furry bestie. That’s called manipulation, not middle ground.

  • 11
    punkkitty312 Nobody who loves you would tell you to do that. I'm guessing that he knew that you had kitty before you decided to live together. He is trying to manipulate you to see how far you will go to please him. This is very selfish and potentially ab ive behavior. I know it's difficult, but it's better to leave the relationship now.
    via punkkitty312
  • 12
    BottleLopsided I will give you an honest answer and I understand it can be hurtful but neither you or your cat deserve this. Your boyfriend is putting you in great emotional distress for his own comfort. This is not "compromise", this is "do as I say or else".
    via BottleLopsided
  • 13
    Compromise would be telling you to let the cat go only in certain rooms while he's at home or researching types of litters that you can buy so he doesn't feel bad. There are lots of litter boxes (NEVER buy self cleaning, they killed cats!) that you can buy and that have O smell.
    via BottleLopsided
  • 14
    Your cat friend is your emotional support, as your partner he should do everything to not hurt you. If he cannot bond with the cat it is most likely because he wants her gone. Animals can feel when they are wanted or not. There are many people that didn't like cats at first but with patience they became great friends.
    via BottleLopsided
  • 15
    You should have an honest, open conversation about boundaries. Tell him that rehoming your cat hurts you, that HE is hurting you with that question. See how he reacts. A caring partner would not want to cause their partner further suffering and would work TOGETHER to find a solution.
    via BottleLopsided
  • 16
    If you cannot compromise on this, maybe it would be a better idea to live separately. A colleague of mine was forced to rehome her cats because the guy didn't want to take allergy meds. She was heartbroken for 6 months...
    via BottleLopsided
  • 17
    Please never allow someone else to control your life like this, you have the right to keep your best friend in your life.
    via BottleLopsided

  • This isn’t a compromise. It’s a one-sided sacrifice. There are plenty of steps to try before even thinking about rehoming. You’ve had her for 4 years. She’s family, not furniture.

  • 18
    Cute_Distribution602 Hi there, I think it's very wrong of your boyfriend to expect you to part ways with your beloved pet cat. It's a package deal (you + your cat). I wonder if you moved in with him and he had a dog, would he give up his dog if you asked? I don't think so. Please don't give up your cat
    via Cute_Distribution602
  • 19
    BossMareBotanical I'd be more concerned about the fact someone who is suppose to love and care for me is trying to convince me to give up something I love. and care deeply for. This sounds like a relationship that may go down hill quite quickly. Don't get stuck, OP.
    via BossMareBotanical
  • 20
    FamiliarRadio9275 My ex, said I needed to rehome mine... I still have my cat
    via FamiliarRadio9275
  • 21
    Prudent_Astronaut1... Keep the kitty. Throw out the boyfriend!
    via Prudent_Astronaut171
  • 22
    PinkMagnoliaaa I promise you he's just jealous of how much you love your cat. My ex hated that I loved on my cat and would get super jealous with how much I doted on her
    via PinkMagnoliaaa

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Cats boyfriend fight relationships girlfriend argument pawrents relationship drama
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